A new UN study has concluded that humans are causing irreversible damage to the planet from burning fossil fuels. At a bar later that night, the study was overheard saying:
“I can’t do this anymore. This is like the billionth time I’ve told you guys this. And you’re always like ‘cool, thanks study, we’ll definitely do something about it this time’ but then you forget about it and are just like ‘uhhhhh durrrr’ and then nothing happens. Can I get another round, barkeep? What do you mean I’m too drunk? You’re too drunk. No, I’m not going anywhere. Do you know who I am? Whatever, I’m never coming back here – and I’ll make sure none of my friends do either. Wait, what was that? Did you just that you’re not worried because no one takes my advice seriously anyways? Oh the audacity! The balls! I work at the UN, amigo! This bar sucks anyways. Later idiots!”
He then fell off his barstool and was carried about by some scientist friends who put him in a cab and really hoped he wouldn’t remember most of what he said that evening.