Joke time p. 103

A film adaptation of the classic video game “Tetris” is reportedly in the works. It’s taking a bit longer to release than the filmmakers anticipated, as every time all the pieces seem to fit together perfectly the financing just vanishes into thin air.

Joke time p. 102

Iraq’s military has begun a campaign to re-enlist troops who had previously deserted so that they can join the fight against ISIS. Experts are calling it a critical first step on the path towards them deserting again.

Joke time p. 101

The founder of Australian band AC/DC has recently left the group. The official word is that it’s because of illness, but the word on the street is that he’s just searching for a new outlet.

Joke time p. 100

A group of five scientists have confessed to sneaking Bob Dylan lyrics into their research for the past 17 years. Which explains why much of their work is garbled and, at times, impossible to understand.

Joke time p. 99

The Irish navy has found $100 million worth of cocaine on a yacht sailing off their coast. Officials said it was the easiest bust ever, as the boat had recently started wearing a leather jacket, grown a mustache and bought a muscle car.

Joke time p. 98

Today at the UN General Assembly, President Obama laid out a blueprint for deeper American engagement in the Middle East to take on ISIL, saying that we’d “work with a broad coalition to dismantle this network of death.” But more importantly, does the new iPhone bend in your pocket?!?!

Joke time p. 97

According to a new CDC report, Ebola in Liberia and Sierra Leone could strike up to 1.4 million people by January, which is nothing compared to the millions affected by the Free U2 Album Plague of 2014.

Joke time p. 96

The US-led coalition that attacked ISIS in Syria overnight included five Arab nations, leading the American people to secretly wish that George W. Bush was still in office so we could hear him say “we’re all in…with our Arab amigos.”

Joke time p. 95

Two Cambodian Buddhist monks have been arrested for smoking crystal meth in their pagoda. But this shouldn’t come as a surprise, as local legend says that if those monks put their minds to it, they can tweak for 24 hours straight.