Cuban President Raul Castro said today that the US must respect Cuba’s communist system as the countries work toward normalizing relations. In response, President Obama said that Cuba must respect Jack In The Box’s new Spicy Sriracha Burger when it inevitably gets to Havana, because it’s “pretty damn hot.”
Madonna’s new album has leaked before even being announced to the public. Which is good, because at her age she should probably start getting used to unannounced leaks.
Vermont has announced that they’re giving up on their single-payer health care system because of ballooning costs. Hey dummies: maybe stop spending all your money on hot air balloons???
A new study finds that children’s cartoons are “rife with on-screen death and murder.” So one can only imagine how fucked up and depraved those characters are off-screen.
A safety inspector died after walking through a factory door that led to nowhere and plunged into a gravy-making machine. Which is a tragic outcome that also makes it sound like maybe he wasn’t the best safety inspector at the company.
Pope Francis has supported Rome’s bid for the 2024 Olympic Games with the hopes of having the Vatican be one of the host venues. So if this does happen, when athletes thank god after a victory, those words may actually be heard.
Doctors told a man in Australia that he had a parasitic worm living in his foot for four years. The man said it was the worst thing he’s ever experienced, which is coincidentally also what the worm said.