Joke time p. 92

A man in Malaysia who had 10 metal ball bearings implanted in his penis to improve his sexual abilities had to have them surgically removed when they began to rust.

On the bright side, he pretty much has sole ownership of the pickup line “Hey girl you ever been with a man who had 10 metal ball bearings implanted in his penis to improve his sexual abilities only to have them surgically removed when they began to rust? Oh you haven’t? Where are you going? Come back.”

Joke time p. 91

An Australian public servant has been denied compensation because she took extended work breaks to get soy milk for her organic coffee, citing dietary needs.

Unbelievable. Can you believe the audacity of this woman to care about her health and well-being while there’s work to be done?

Joke time p. 89

One of the world’s top fund managers has warned investors to stay away from Chinese e-commerce giant Alibaba’s upcoming IPO, which is projected to be the largest in US history. He also said that to make sure no one gets screwed over, he’ll just buy up all of the shares okay?